I remember arguing with her that I took care of myself for over sixty years and I could continue to do so until the day I die. She just laughed and said, ‘George, I’m the one who has taken care of you for the last forty-two years. I think God made me your guardian angel because you can’t go through life alone.’ Looking back I believe she was right. I hate to admit it but I don’t do well on my own. But now I’m just too old and too tired to go looking for a partner. The only person that would even come close is Helen and I doubt if she would want anything to do with me, not after she was through talking to Sophie and besides by now she’s probably a thousand miles away. I know I’m feeling sorry for myself. But I’m in this terrible rut and can’t or maybe don’t want to take the effort to climb out of it. I’ll just keep drinking my Jim Beam and build up some courage. Looking back on the last six months of our life together is painful. One day she wasn’t feeling good. I suggested she go to. An afternoon coming back from work I was attracted by my younger sister wearing a very short and tight skirt showing the shape of her bottom. I was obsessed by the pervert idea of making love with her, but was also scared in case she refused and told my mother. Each time I saw her I thought of what should I do to convince her. I was 18, Jan 14 she was short and slim, she looked like a twelve year old girl.We were five in the family 3 boys and 2 girls, I was number 4. My father already passed away, my elder sister already married lived on a sugar estate far from us, my brothers in the army were sent to Kenya for six months, so at home were only my mother, Jan and me. I was working and no longer attend evening classes Jan was in secondary school. Being the youngest in the family Jan and I were close.I used to help Jan with her school homework in the evening. The idea of seducing Jan was always in my mind but did not know how to start, each time I looked at her I was excited.Every.
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